One of the best gifts you can give your Domina is work on your own self acceptance and self awareness. Learning to accept and integrate your desires will make you a more competent slave with more space and breath from which to serve. Here are four suggestions to help turn your own search for self acceptance into an offering for your Mistress.

 

Cultivating Acceptance Through Community:

Begin to cultivate acceptance of your deepest and darkest desires. Having a desire that society tells you is ‘abnormal’ can be an incredibly isolating experience. It can be helpful to find community and engage with it in some capacity. That may come in the form of online communities or in-person events such as a workshop, lecture or party. Taking action to engage with like-minded people will help you become unburdened from shame and better able to serve.

 

Sit With Yourself and Reflect:

Don’t fight your desires. Be present with them. A fetish or strong a desire can be a point of extreme vulnerability, but can also be an entryway to exploring your inner workings. Numbing yourself from your desires will prevent this opportunity to excavate and explore. Journaling, cultivating a devotional yoga practice, seeking out play with trusted partners or professionals or talking to a BDSM aware Mental Health Professional are all great ways to begin the process of radical self acceptance.

 

Lift the Veil of Shame:

Attempting to repress a desire can cause you to lose control over your actions. Figuring out what is at the root of your desire will help you find ways to explore and express your desires in a healthy and controlled manner. Shame is a social construct. Why should you feel shame at expressing a part of yourself with consenting adults? Self-loathing and shame cloud one’s ability to see clearly and devote themselves to the divine. Sometimes it is just a matter of shifting your perspective to find self acceptance.

“I’m not ashamed to dress ‘like a woman’ because I don’t think it is shameful to be a woman.” – Iggy Pop

 

A Path to Catharsis:

Some people find humiliation play to be an extremely cathartic way to explore their insecurities and desires. Being teased and nudged and encouraged is inherently erotic, but that is vastly different from living under the rock of shame and having it impact all of your life decisions, actions and inactions. Getting to play around with humiliation in a safe, confined space allows you find relief from your insecurities without letting it consume you. Remember that what makes some folks tick, can be destructive to others, so If you are interested in pursuing humiliation play, do so with a professional or trusted partner. Go slowly and save time for aftercare.

Make sure to explore and gain a control over your desires so that they don’t control you. This exploration will benefit you and everyone in your life.
In conclusion, wear frilly panties and suck a dick.